Friday: Any night out with me ends up in a trip to the ER... and not even as a result of something FUN! A pretty nasty spider bite caught my attention when I got home from work and I showed my mom. We could actually see the red line of venom traveling from the bite to a major vein running the length of my forearm. That really freaked her out, and we were in the car in under 10 minutes on our way to the fire station my cousin was working at that night. (She's a paramedic and Mom sought her opinion.) When we got to the station and realized my cousin was out on a call, Mom and I were left pacing the parking lot and wondering whether or not we should knock and ask any of the paramedics that had stayed behind.
Finally she did, and two guys in COLLIER EMS t-shirts invited us into their station. The place was a mess. They were watching America's Most Wanted, eating everything in sight, and having the best time. My mom tried to explain the situation to them but they acted as if they didn't even really care. We sat down in their living room with them and tried googling what was wrong with my arm, hah! They told me they believed I was going through a transformation to SpiderWoman and that I should just go with it. Might have worked for me. "Snacks" told me a story about his partner's walkie talkie falling out of his pocket and smacking a dead man's head on the side of the road. He said he knew he had been dead for at least half an hour, but still felt he needed to express a "Sorry, dude!" "Rascal Flatts" called the least busy hospital and told the chief nurse that I was his cousin and needed to be taken in immediately and given the best service, so we headed that way.
Being there was absolutely ridiculous. I haven't been in a hospital for nearly two years, since all of that crap happened to me before, and I had actually forgotten how scary they are. Luckily the doctors were able to treat the infection with only a prescription cream and I was on my way home. This is where it gets weird though.
As we were leaving an old man was staring at me from his bed. It didn't look like he was wearing any clothes at all. His toes were maybe three or four times the size they should have been and were tangled. They were twisted, and all of them were overlapping. I smiled at him as I passed by, making my way for the door, and he said so softly..."Help Me." Mom and I stopped for a moment to be sure we had heard him right, and when he said it again we walked towards the nurses station to let them know he was asking for help. At this point, he was screaming "HELP ME! HELP ME!" and I was more than a little creeped out. There was nobody with him in the room. He was all alone, and probably scared to death. It didn't dawn on Mom and I until today that he was probably the real reason for our trip to the ER that night. Obviously everything with me was okay, but we ended up at the ER for a reason. I believe that God put that man in our path as a test... to see if we would pray over him. We failed, miserably, as I ran for the door when he started yelling. Mom tried to comfort him by telling him that everything would be okay and somebody was on their way, but only from the door frame. The nurses never seemed in a big rush to get to him, and it leaves me with the feeling that maybe it was because they couldn't hear him like we could. Maybe he was purposely there for US. Either way, Mom feels terrible about the whole situation. We're not missing any opportunites anymore to help somebody in need.... no matter how disgusting their toes are.
3 comments:
*WARNING* I talk A LOT. Therefore anticipate a pretty long comment :)
When I sat down to write this explanation, I did not realize it was going to be hard. Actually, that's a lie. I was aware it would be difficult. That's why I made sure to set aside some time in my day to write it. What I did not know was that two hours and seven do-overs later I still would not be satisfied with the finished product. But then again, how did I expect to explain my outlook on Life in one comment? The task is pretty much impossible. Especially for someone like me who spends every free minute of the day analyzing everything around her. Yes, quite impossible. Yet, you have presented me with a challenge so, naturally, I am obliged to fulfill it. So, here I go, attempting to explain the unexplainable:
By nature, I am an analyzer. I analyze everything and everyone around me: actions, motives, expressions. Not in a condescending way but merely for my own curiosity. I feel that almost all (if not entirely all) human actions are predictable. Through analyzing, I have proved myself right time and time again. I credit myself (sometimes even too quickly) with the ability to predict the reactions of people in different situations; whether it be in relationships, friendships, or daily life in general. (Here I go, sounding like an egotistical snob but I promise you I'm not. It will help make my point in the end :) )
So, what does this have to do with your blog? Well, one thing I can honestly say is that you have caused me to second-guess myself. You prove that sometimes Life IS that simple. Sometimes there really are no hidden meanings or deeper emotions. Sometimes Life hands you something at face value with nothing to decode, nothing to discover, nothing to evaluate. Life can just be that wonderfully simple. Simple, not in the sense of easy or relaxing but in the sense that there is no surprise lingering underneath the surface. Just like an English teacher can read too much into the symbolism of a piece of literature; a person, such as myself, can read too much into Life. Maybe, just maybe, a guy decides to attend a party on the day the two of you have a date merely because he simply forgot. (That was just an example. Nothing to do with me :) )
I completely understand if you think this makes no sense. When said outloud, it barely does even to me. But, when dealing with Life, I go with my gut feeling and pray to God to lead me in the right direction. After all, that's how I'm dealing with all decisions relating to college in the Fall :P
Okay haha since you asked, I'll share my outlook on life (but you have been forewarned- it will be longer than a few sentences!):
To put it broadly, I would say my life motto is John 8:32: “You will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” Everything that I do is driven by this because I derive meaning from truth- which I define as the reality of things as God created them (as best as I can perceive). Truth is the foundation of everything for me because “The truth is incontrovertible, malice may attack it, ignorance may deride it, but in the end; there it is.” When all the pretenses, excuses, and false conceptions fall away, truth always remains whether history chooses to remember it or not.
I want to be someone who confronts truth and looks it straight in the face- no matter how scary, ugly, or inconvenient it might be for me to do so. To do anything less, in my opinion, would make me nothing more than another blind sheep that fuels the status quo. My only enemy is hypocrisy. I want to see everything that life has to offer, the good and the bad, because I think beauty can be found in any truth- big or little, powerful or insignificant. I look for that “truth factor” in every person I meet, every situation I experience, and every new place I encounter. Truth can be as simple as sunbathing in the summer grass and seeing colors through your eyelids, or it can be more profound. An example would be when a line in a poem strikes a part of my brain that I hadn’t noticed was asleep before, and I can’t rephrase the line or even explain why it makes sense, but it’s perfect and beautiful in that it says something that’s never been put so well (For me, your blog is one of these more profound truths).
I try not to get too caught up in trying to decide what is true and what isn’t- after all, I don’t believe raw, unadulterated truth will ever be completely understood by humanity- because that is God. However, I have found that if you’re on the search for truth, it tends to find you. I also firmly believe that the search for truth is more precious than its possession, and also that you never find yourself or are capable of growth until you face the truth. One of my favorite quotes says, “Unless your heart, your soul, and your whole being are behind every decision you make, the words from your mouth will be empty, and each action will be meaningless.” I try to always view the world through fresh eyes so that I never waste my finite amount of time in ingratitude. So essentially, my outlook is not so different than Carpe Diem. I believe Carpe Diem itself is a general truth that comes from God. So yeah, sorry for getting all deep and spiritual there- but I have to call it like I see it :P
Oh yeah,for the record, I stole those two examples of "truths" from another blog I follow: The Hayleylujah Chorus-http://hayleyghoover.blogspot.com/
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