Sunday, August 30, 2009

Love Always Means The Most...

"Can I ask you something that's been on my mind for a while now?"-Mom
"Sure.." -Nicole
"...What are your plans for college?" -M
"What do you mean?" -N
"You used to talk all the time about leaving town and going up to Tallahassee or Gainesville, sometimes even about going to Tennessee and it seems like for the past 4 or 5 months you haven't really mentioned it at all." -M
"yeah?" -N
"Well I'm just wondering what you're going to do. Are you finally deciding to stay here around Naples and go to FGCU or Edison, or have you just stopped talking about it because you've had your mind made up about moving since you were little?!" -M
" I don't really know. To be truthful, I think about it every day. And every day that goes by I get more and more nervous because I know that I don't have long to make a decision." -N
"It's Justin isn't it?" -M
"Of course it is. I don't want to leave him. It scares me to death to imagine saying goodbye. But at the same time, I've wanted to go away for so long. I feel guilty that I'm still debating staying because I feel like I owe it to him to stay, to give him a girlfriend that can be here for him every day. And at the same time I feel like he owes me some freedom to do all that I've ever dreamed of. But where do you draw the line in love? Where does "for me" stop and "for him" start, or vice versa? And does it even matter? ...I feel like I'll be partially unsatisfied no matter in which direction I head." -N
"HAHAHAHAHAHAHA." -M
"That was not meant to be funny. I'm serious!" -N
"Do you remember when you were a freshman and you told me that no guy would ever hold you back? You told me that love could wait, and that you had goals in life to tend to first of all. And I always told you it'd be a whole different story when you fell in love..."-M
"haha, shut up. You're such a smartass..you're right though."-N
" I always told you that your plans would change but you were determined to hold them so close to heart. Now look at you.. You know you're not going to end up going anywhere. And not becuase you don't want to anymore, but because you can't bring yourself to say goodbye, even if it is only for a few months. You've got it bad for him. I can tell." -M
"You can say that again." -N
"Well, maybe he'll be the one some day, or maybe he won't. You two are good together now, but you also have a lot of goals. If you can compromise, great. And if not, you do what means more to you and I'll support you one hundred percent." -M
"My heart is a scary thing to gamble with, but I'm fairly certain I'll make the right decision in the end." -N

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Saturday, August 15, 2009

When you ring the doorbell

and I don't answer the first time...
what makes you think I'll answer it the second time?
...or third?


I don't even care that you can see me.


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I'm too busy snuggling with my baby B!

Thursday, August 13, 2009

This is what Jeffie and I do

when we're bored on Thursday nights...

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Fallen Humanity

There are people in my life who I used to look up to. Used to see as inspirational because of what I perceived as their passion for morality. Used to consider heroes because of their proclaimed belief in the duty of every person to stand up for what they believe in, even while the rest of society is giving in to temptation.

I don't anymore.

Look up to them, that is. Because... suddenly... or not so suddenly... I see what they truly are beneath the mask of good judgement. I see their fear of gossip. I see how they claim that they live without drugs, without alcohol, without random hookups and one night stands... but they claim this only for others. They're lying to themselves and hoping the rest of us see through their flimsy disguise so as to protect their reputation. And this attempt to escape the truth shows me that they are not heroes any longer. Just fallen humanity, so lost and scared that they feel they must hurt to be heard.

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Because I said so ♥

Johnny: And I love that you have this insane way of talking in circles that makes perfect sense.
Milly: I do? Cause sometimes I feel like nobody understands me. But...
Johnny: But Me... I get you.

Tuesday, August 4, 2009

Love Yourself :)

"Later that day I got to thinking about relationships. There are those that open you up to something new and exotic, those that are old and familiar, those that bring up lots of questions, those that bring you somewhere unexpected, those that bring you far from where you started, and those that bring you back. But the most exciting, challenging and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself. And if you can find someone to love the you that you love...well, that's just fabulous." -Carrie, Sex and the City

Hmm...

"All the elements for your happiness are already here.

There's no need to run,

strive, search or struggle. Just be."

:)