that's a good one.

'Nicole'(6:47:05 PM): 90% of teenage guys can't keep me out of their heads, do you know what the other 10% does?
'Christian' (6:47:13 PM): no what?
'Nicole'(6:47:21 PM): oh, then you must be a part of the 90%.

Feeling Listy.

Things that I have learned lately:
1. Don't be manipulating. It's not healthy for you or for anyone else.
2. Stand up for yourself. Footprints on your face are not attractive.
3. Dance it out, always.
4. Do not squirt chickens with the hose.
5. When starting a wheelchair race from the top of a ramp, always make sure you can catch yourself before the wheelchair flips into the grass.

Things I swore I'd never do, but most definitely did:
1. Turn out just like my mother.
2. Give up Mayter in such a short amount of time.
3. Watch Tila Tequila's 'A Shot At Love'
4. Let history repeat itself.
5. Be distracted from my school work by something dumb.

Things I regret:
1. throwing away my old diaries
2. selling my playstation
3. quitting gymnastics
4. kissing J.C.
5. not practicing driving as much as I should have

Things I wish would go away:
1. mosquitos
2. crohns disease
3. stress
4.the effects of calories
5. people that shave their eyebrows and draw them back on

Things I often crave:
1. peanut butter
2. strawberry lemonade
3. strawberries
4. orange chicken
5. reese pieces

Guilty Pleasures:
1. dog-earing pages of Seventeen magazine's latest issue
2. the movie, Sweet Home Alabama
3. "Fall Into Me" by Emerson Drive
4. re-reading all old notes and love letters

Justin sings to me.

"Whether its Backsteet Boys or N'Sync
Now CD's with you make my heart sing.
Im not embarrassed and im not shy.
One day without you makes Mona cry.
So lets go to my place and watch it rain.
One day without you puts me in pain.

(Chorus)
Aim conversations and good ol laughs.
Hanging with you wish it would always last.
Come on girl and forget about those kids.
Drug them up and let them fend.
For themselves
Themselves
Themselves

Mario Karts... Aint it a blast?
Also fun is kicking your ass!!!
Now dont you worry about a thing.
I wont tell as many people as you think.
You worry about the bananas. Why oh why?
You need to worry about your driving next time!!!

(Chorus)

Now im going to go with peace of mind.
Hoping we will hang out Friday night.
Ill be ready with this song.
And you be ready to have fun all night long.
Me and you have great fun.
Without you im just a bum.

(Chorus)


OHHH YEAH!!!!
OHHH YEAH!!!!
BABY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"Is that powerline supposed to be on fire?"

That's what started all of this mornings commotion. As we walked from the house out to the car, Katie was the first to notice it. Her attention had been caught by the smoke blowing in the wind. The way the light caught it just right made it appear as if it were a giant spider web swinging back and forth. Thank God she sized up the pole or we might have never acknowledged the fire at the top.
"How do you know it's on fire?"
"Umm, well... there's flames. That was my first clue."
Within seconds my mom was pushing us back inside the house, crying about how it could blow up at any minute, and within minutes our yard was full of FPL trucks, firetrucks, and squad cars. I wasn't kidding when I said my life is like a TV show. This mornings episode, collapsing roofs,runaway pigs,flying fourwheelers, and the rest of this familys crazy dilemas are racing through my mind as I plan the pitch for a new sitcom: Life with the Merriams.

"Hey Nicole, what bums you out?"

I stumbled over my words, unsure of what to reply. It got me thinking.. far more things make me happy than bum me out. A small list:

Things that I find great joy in:
1. The sound of my moms loud laughter when she watches Hells Kitchen.
2. Watching Jeff piss off Grandma to the point that she just wants to twist his neck until his head flys off like the cap of an empty twisted water bottle, and chases him around the kitchen table with a spoon, a ruler, or the closest thing she has to grab.
3.Words. They make me laugh. Just today I must have repeated the word "hammock" twenty times, laughing harder each time I repeated it.
4. Opening the front door and hearing my Dad sing Disney Karaokee tunes from the back family room.
5. Home videos. If they were all I could watch for the rest of my life, that'd be just fine.
6. Impersonations. Cheap,Professional, Funny, Insulting. I love them all.
7. Traveling, car games, roadtrips, and scavenging for toll money.
8. Arnolds multigrain toast with butter and juice in the morning. I love to make that perfect teeth bite in the toast.
9. "FIRST WORD THAT COMES TO YOUR MOUTH!" ( you shout this phrase and point to your friends until a word or sound is forced out of their mouth )
10. Music... oh, wow, I love lyrics. They pour straight into soul, get absorbed by my bones, and make my bone marrow happy.
11. Pierre
12. Writing, and the way that reading something back that I've written allows so many memories to rush throughout me...as if I'm living it all again.
13. Being inspired to try something new, and wanting to drop everything and do it right then.

Things that make me clench my fists:
1. When people talk during a song, video, or movie that I really want them to grasp the meaning of.
2. Complainers.
3.When I'm looking at something on TV as I try to walk into my room and hit my head on the corner of the hall.
4.

Headed to Borders.

As soon as I can convince myself to get up from this chair and get dressed, I actually have a long to do list to complete today. Of course, everything below 10 I could really care less if I get done or not. I mostly just throw them on the list to make myself feel as if I'm at least considering doing something about them. I really want to head to Borders. Natalia had this nice hardcover sketchbook/journal, and I think I want to pick one up. I've always kept a diary. I'm not sure how it's much different than a blog, except that it's portable. I'm tired of being constricted by the lined paper of its pages though and now I'm hoping to go crazy with constant thought and emotions on the blank pages of a new journal. I'll be sixteen soon, and to me, that's a major turning point in a persons life. I intend to have that journal by my side, and readily available through it all. If I hear a good song and have to get those lyrics down, I'll whip it out. If I'm sitting down by the beach and I fall in love with the sound of the waves crashing, or even the smell of the water, I'll get it out. If I overhear anything even slightly funny, or ridiculous from somebody in public, here it comes. If I feel like drawing, snatch it up. Or if I must write down my feelings, opinions, or whereabouts immediately, it will be right there. I intend to have pictures plastered all over the inside, writing, drawings, football game tickets, notes from friends, movie theater ticket stubs.. anything of any importance, or even any relevance.. ( maybe some things that are also COMPLETELY irrelevant. ) are getting taped up in there.
I've never been so excited to buy a journal.
I'm such a nerd.

A Wii Bit Of Nonsense.

Surprisingly it didn't take as much begging as I thought it might. I never really thought to even ask because I knew the idea of it all would be shot down immediately. I was sure "No, have some patience, Nicole," would be the first thing out of my mother's mouth. I'm not sure when exactly I changed my mind about all of this however. Probably somewhere in the midst of lounging about the house, bored as usual, looking for something to do as well as an excuse to do it. My dad seated on the opposite couch was also an instigation. He loves stuff like this, loves spending money, and hates sitting around bored almost as much as I do.
"Hey Dad, my birthday's right around the corner, you know, and well... I've been thinking about asking for a Wii. I think it'd be a lot of fun. Actually, I wish I even had it now to play."
Without even so much as a hesitation, he got up from the couch and begged my mom for her credit card. Sometimes I feel as if he's another brother. Surely there aren't many other fathers out there quite like him. We ran right out to Walmart, and picked it up. My sweet sixteen birthday gift, a Nintendo Wii. While registering it, it asks you to name your console. I decided that Wii reminded me of the French and the way they say "Wee Wee" for yes, and so, I named my Nintendo Wii, Pierre.
As of now, I'm spending all my free time with Pierre. We haven't left each others sight for long since we were brought together. It's a pretty strong bond... a girl, and her Wii... you just don't come between things like that.

Second Chances...

"Love and security are uncertain...we take it for granted when it's readily available. Let go of a hand, watch them fall...pick them up because you care... not because they deserve it. When things get better... you'll be glad you did it. Now you have strength to make it through anything."


I've been doing even more thinking since my last post. It's amazing my head hasn't begun to ache severely.